Maturity in love (Being mature is painful..)

This must be one of the post that took me the longest time to write so far. It took me nearly a week to write it. I never had the intention to post this post actually because I am just writing on this topic to past the time. Tapi alang-alang aku dah elok-elok tulis tu lebih baik la aku terbitkan dari aku biar terperap macam tu je dalam simpanan je kan. For this post i am going to use both Malay and English languange. Aku ulang, aku akan guna dua bahasa ye tuan-tuan dan puan. Baiklah, cukup-cukup la tu kata pengenalan tu. Kalau tulis panjang-panjang nanti malas lak korang nak baca kan.


What is love?

Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, 8th edition

love

 

affection

1 [ uncountable ] a strong feeling of deep affection for sb/sth, especially a member of your family or a friend

a mother's love for her children

love of your country

He seems incapable of love.

 

romantic

2 [ uncountable ] a strong feeling of affection for somebody that you are sexually attracted to

a love song/story

We're in love !

She was in love with him .

They fell in love with each other.

It was love at first sight (they were attracted to each other the first time they met) .

They're madly in love .

Their love grew with the years. 

Love is a rather difficult topic to tackle really. Different people have different perception and not to mention different needs of love. Other need it to survive and some is just need it to past the time or following trend. Love can make a person happy, content, and not to mention in worst case scenario it turn people MAD.

Sewel,ting-tong, tak cukup lagi? hah putus wayar, dan macam-macam lagi gelaran yang boleh korang bagi untuk orang yang tengah mabuk asmara ni.

Bila hilang cinta korang rasa macam nak hancur satu dunia ni kan?

Korang rasa macam dah tak boleh hidup dalam dunia ni kan?

Rasa macam dah tak akan ada orang lain untuk korang kan?

That is how you feel during the early time of your relationship

When you love somebody with all your heart, you can dedicate your entire existence for that person, you can have he or she in your mind 24/7, you can pray for their well being in every prayers of yours.... But you will never know if they share the same feeling towards you. But you keep your hope up high and your head down low.. try to force the same believe that they will always love you too..

People fall in love for various reason

Some fall in love for their religion (Semoga mereka yang sebegini menerima rahmat dari Allah..) 

Some fall in love due to lust ( Semoga percintaan mereka berakhir dengan nikah agar nafsu mereka berada di tempat yang betul..)

Some fall in love because they are lonely

Some fall in love to forget their previous love

Some people fall in love after being friend for a long time

Some people fall in love for the need of money

and there are a lot more reasons for people to fall in love. There are a lot of commitment to be give when you are in a relationship of course. Screw something up you could end destroying someone life all together.

Some things that could end up destroying your relationship

1) You got bored. You are getting fed up watching the same darn face nearly everyday. Dalam bahasa mudahnya situasi ini berlaku apabila perkataan "aku cinta padamu" atau "aku sayang pada mu" dah jadi basi pada korang. Kalau dua-dua pihak rasa macam tu biasanya hubungan tu akan berakhir dengan aman, tapi jika seseorang je rasa macam tu hancurlah hati seorang manusia..

2)You fall in love with someone else. Bahasa mudahnya curang atau pasang dua. Bila janji setia dan sehidup semati dilupakan begitu sahaja dek angkara nafsu... Ini merupakan antara situasi yang paling menyeksa bagi sesetengah orang. What else can you do as you watch someone that you loves and cares with all your heart slowly slip away into someone else arms.. Imagining his or her kisses on someone else check.. Membayangkan si dia mengucapkan kata kasih pada orang lain.. membayangkan si dia bermanja-manja dengan si jantung hati yang baru.. Benda-benda ni cukup untuk memberikan korang igauan ngeri pada waktu malam

3) Bila salah seorang daripada kamu terpaksa putuskan hubungan untuk perkara-perkara penting seperti belajar. For this kind of situation it is best if you learn to let go.. Not all people can manage having a relationship when they are studying. This kind of people would also usually be having trouble giving commitment in a relationship too when they are working in the future. If you to ovoid trouble it is better you just give up in such relationship. It is a different thing if they are just asking for some gap and spaces when they are busy. There are still chances that this kind of relationship would last but you must have a really high level of trust and believe that they will continue to love you even if you leave them just for a while.

4) You realize that yours relationship is a mistake. You might accept somebody just because you are feeling lonely and everything. You also might accept that person in your life so you could forget your past relationship. For couples that just want a light relationship this would be okay I guess but for the people that are considering a serious relationship this kind of relationship could spell disaster! A relation that is built on someone else shadow would require a tremendous effort to give commitment to. You would have to be so in love with that person to the extend that you are willing to sacrifice your life in order to make they forget their previous partner. You would also need to constantly remember that they did not accept you because they love you but instead to forget their old flames. I know deep inside god know how much you love that person.. but somehow you need to remember that they still have their old partner in their heart somehow. Yet I know some crazy people that still remain in love with people like that. It is your right to love somebody.. Menyayangi seseorang adalah hak setiap maknusia. Tiada apa yang boleh menghalang rasa kasih kamu terhadap seseorang. But remember.. do not expect them to love your back the same way.

Ada banyak lagi perkara yang boleh meranapkan sesuatu hubungan didalam dunia ini..

Apakah yang harus kamu lakukan bila sesuatu seperti ini berlaku?

That is when maturity to kick in

Maturity. Some people claim it to be answer to everything. It does not really cure your broken heart. But it did knock some sense into your mind. It also make your feet touch the ground again. Give you the harsh reality of how thing really is.. It is one of the most painful thing that you will have face.. Both in your mind and heart.

1) If your partner fall in love with someone else, learn that they do not love you anymore.. learn to let go.. face the reality.. accept the fact.. I know that some of you love them dearly.. but it is not the same case to them.. How can you be with someone who is not loyal to you anymore... Do not hold any grudge or hatred in your heart.. Just know that you did not do anything wrong to hurt them that make them look for someone else.. The fault lies in your partner.. Bila nafsu serakah menyelubungi diri... bila lafaz setia dan cinta tidak lagi bermakna... teruskan lah hidupmu... jangan lah dikau berpaling ke belakang... tiada gunanya kau mengenang mereka yang kini dikuasi nafsu tunggangan Iblis terlaknat.. Ingatlah kau.. Balasan tuhan sentiasa ada untuk mereka sebegini.. Jika tidak di dunia di akhirat kelak.. Bukan lah hak kita untuk menghukum mereka di dunia ini.. Lupakan apa yang berlaku dan teruskan hidup mu..

2) Bila pasangan kamu sudah bosan dengan kamu.. Lihatlah diri kamu kembali.. Lihatlah dimana silap kamu berdua.. berubahlah demi kebahagian kamu berdua.. Pupuklah kembali rasa kasih antara dua insan yang pernah kamu miliki.. Mungkin kamu berkata dia tiada hak untuk mengubah diri kamu... sedangkan dia cuma mahu kamu berubah untuk bahagia kamu berdua.. Take time to realize that your heart beats for two.. for you and for him or her.. Relationship takes two sides to be form.. Learn to compromise. Learn to do something different with them sometimes.. do not let that boredom get the best of both of you.

3) If it is because of something important like study, it would be best if you learn to let go. Perkara seperti ini adalah perkara biasa untuk berlaku pada final year university dimana fokus 100% diperlukan untuk berjaya. That partner of yours might be considering his or her future seriously. Insyaallah..Jika ada jodoh antara kamu berdua kamu akan bersama jua.. Jika kamu masih lagi saling mencintai lepaskanlah mereka untuk sementara waktu.. Ibarat burung merpati.. Kemana saja mereka pergi ke sarang mereka kembali.. Jika benar cinta dan kasih kamu kasih sejati.. tidak akan kemana kamu berdua..

4) Jika korang merasakan hubungan korang ini satu kesilapan.. sedarlah korang telah menyiksa hati seorang insan dengan tindak tanduk korang tu.. Lepaskanlah dan jelaskan dengan baik perkara sebenar pada mereka.. Insyaallah mereka akan memahami.. Jika korang sekadar mengadakan hubungan untuk melupakan kisah lama.. lupakan sajalah niat korang tu.. korang sekadar ingin melupakan seseorang sedangkan si dia mencintai korang dengan sepenuh hati.. korang sekadar ingin mengisi kekosongan di hati sedangkan si dia memasang cita-cita untuk mempunyai masa depan dengan korang.. tindak tanduk korang itu hanya akan menhancur lumat hati mereka. Ada kemungkinan juga hubungan seperti ini boleh bertahan jika korang boleh rasa perasan sayang kepada mereka dan melupakan kisah lama. Jika tidak biarkan lah kisah seperti ini menjadi tauladan kepada korang. Hati dan perasan kasih manusia bukan lah sesuatu yang boleh diambik mudah. Rasa kasih boleh membawa ke mati bagi sesetengah pihak.. menyayangi seseorang adalah hak semua insan.. akan tetapi mengkianatinya bukanlah hak kita.. Jika tiada kasih dihati.. tolaklah mereka dengan lembut.. jika ada kasih walaupun sekelumit pun.. terimalah mereka dengan hati terbuka tanpa bayangan masa silam..

I say it one more time, each people have different perception about love. What I have said in here may be right, but also maybe wrong.. I leave it to all of you to judge what love really is.. Love cause nothing but trouble.. But a world without love would be even more trouble..