6 Months worth of relationship and 25 + 1 songs

It's over.. all this while I'm just delaying the inevitable I guess. Doesn't matter what I feel anymore as long as she is happy, with or without me. Oh well, jabbing about this all the time won't help much in term of letting go (I have been listening to the Mayday Parade band quite a lot this days, they write sick songs about love, relationship and letting go! It help to ease the pain a little bit... You should search them up if you got the chance) We have some good memories during this half a year worth of relationship (not to mention some bad one too) I have my own way of capturing those kind of memories. I do it by writing songs about it. Yeah.. I know some people prefer capturing pictures. But to me songs capture those memories in their own special ways.I feel like it is more meaningful. Pictures help us to remember faces but songs the help us to remember the feeling of the moment that we capture in it.

So I search for my old notebook that I usually wrote those songs in and I discover that I already written 25 songs about her alone! WTH! well make that 25 + 1 cause I just finish writing another one. Perhaps this is the last song about her. Damn.. 26 songs huh.. That is more than enough to record 2 albums! Haha.. I don't really like all the song though. Some of them is just not that well written. Alah.. biasa la writer block skali skala kan. Tell you what, why don't I put 7 songs that I like the most and I give a brief explanation about that song. I know! Why don't I make an album instead and compile those songs track by track! Haha.. well not really a real album, but perhaps a lyric album :) well.. here goes nothing.

Album Cover

Explanation : Nama pun album mesti ade cover kan XD. Haha.. This isn't even fit to be an album cover really. I'm not really that good in this graphic design stuff. I just grab the best picture that I have and apply all sort of effects that I can. But it send the message I think. I used the color grey because it express the sadness in most of the songs. But I also use a bit color to show that the hope is still there. The cover kind of fit the theme letting go that I try to express in most of the songs.  

Album Name : They call this tragedy.. I call this letting go

Explanation : I like this album tittle, it kind of explain everything about all the songs

Lyric by : Muhammad Syafiq

Explanation : Credit to the writer of course XD

Track 1: From a distance

Hey.. I'm watching you..

You seem like a light year away..

Hey.. This feeling inside..

Is choking every breath of air inside of me..

Hey girl do you know..

This eyes been glued onto you

As this heart began to beat for you

I couldn't care less what they say cause you beautiful to me..

Chorus:I'm watching you from a distance..

             As though as I'm watching the angel herself..

             I'm been restraint with much resistance..

             To stop this feeling from ever pouring out..

Hey.. It all in vain..

Because i know i have to tell you somehow..

Hey.. I will wait..

Even if it cost me a thousand years for you to notice me..

Repeat chorus X2

From a distance I'm watching you...

From a distance I'm wishing for you..

From a distance.. from a distance..

Story Behind The Song : Hmmm.. time mula-mula jatuh hati dulu. This is a slow song actually. Well not really that slow. It have some part that is a bit fast. I don't really have much courage to approach her back then. She is quite an intimidating girl to be approach with actually. Some of the guys even advise me to forget it all together. They say this kind of girl meant nothing but troubles. Well I don't really see all of that that they say in her actually. I just think she is one the most beautiful girl I ever seen.. well I still do think she is beautiful actually.That will never change perhaps.

Track 2 : Car Crash Heart

And I slowly shift the gear

In this crazy race towards you

It took me a car crash to woke me up

There no time to spare 

It's either now or forever shut my mouth

Chorus : Out of my dream you all I see

               In this recipe of heartbeat and disaster (heartbeat and disaster)

               Close lips I never was the kind to speak out this loud

               You obviously my recipe for heartbeat and disaster ( heartbeat and disaster)

Ditch the car I hit the street

With this bear foot I'll catch you

For every sweat that I that spill

For me to make you mine

In this long lasting memories...

Chorus X1

Will I ever make this right..

I'm afraid to be broke by the bitterness of loneliness..

will you say that you love me..

Chorus X2

Story Behind The Song : A rather upbeat song. Got a little bit of powerpop and pop punk influence here. Well you can't expect me write all of my love song slow. Who makes the rule that a love song got to be all sad and slow anyway. They can be a happy and exciting song to :) Confession time. A rather exciting time really. I was heck nervous at time. Don't know what I do if she says no. I'm a bit worry that I confess a bit late or I screw up really bad ( hence the story about a car crash and a guy rushing to find his love one) Er.. A bit of metaphor element there. All literature :P 

Track 3 : An ocean between us

I look back at the time you don't know I exist

I was staring at you with a fast beat in my heart

And now I can finally call you mine

Yet I had to let you go..

With the promise I'll see you again..

Chorus: Baby, Do you know how I feel?

             You give me the words of love

             I just can't tell you how proud I'm that you are mine
             But baby that ain't enough..

             I still deeply missing you..

             Still madly loving you..

Baby tell me if this worth it
Do you know that you everything to me

Cause I never been so scare

I finding it hard to breath

Cause my heart is somewhere else

I give it to you and there's an ocean between us..

Chorus X1

Will you ever found out..

About how I feel..

Baby this is suppose the easy part..

But missing you broke me apart..

Story Behind The Song : Hmm.. the time when god know how much I miss her.. This was during the semester holiday if I was not mistaken. Malas nak explain lebih pasal lagu ni. The lyric ought to be detail enough. Basically a typical song about a guy missing his girl.

Track 4:The Love Drama

Together.. With you..
We have written a script of our untold stories
With the unthinkable plot that you have twisted around me
You nearly made a mess of my head with it

The up and down..
All the hardship of falling in love...

Chorus : This hurts me more than I ever expected
               For the first time I feel like I'm crushing down in your arm
               But I keep holding on to you            
               Because I know one of us got to survive
               So we can continue to save each other

Your acting blow me away
You are acting on your guts alone
Base on strict and sick rule you created yourself
But all I did was living the moment
when I can still see you in front of my eyes

Chorus X1

Now we both trying to hold on
We both trying to forget what happen in between
Promise me we can still carry on

Chorus X2

From this strength comes my love towards you..

Explanation : The holding on part. Well in every relationship there will be obstacles of course. Being able to tackle it head on prove your love to each other. Mine is no exception. Holding on is perhaps one of the hardest thing to do. Tremendous amount of trust and love is require to achieve it. Not to mention the amount of consideration for each other that you need.

Track 5 : Yesterday Headline

Chorus : Do we only live to hurt each other
              The pain we cause only god know why
              Do I still have to justify this
              This comes from the feeling we hide inside..
              You do what you feel is right
              As I watch you turn away
              As I watch you changing
              Into someone I can't no longer face

You take us down..
together with your uncertainty
What use to be a small talk among us
Now turn into angry yell
Enough to destroy this sorry heart of mine
And now you watch me fade..
Sinking into your uncertainty..

Chorus X1

And now you watch me fade
Sinking into your uncertainty
And they call this a tragedy
But what I say this is letting go
As I become your yesterday headline...

Chorus X1

Explanation : I love the this song! If I really ever record this album ( berangan je lebih haha, tapi saper tau kalau aku betul2 record nanti :P hehe..) I will make this my first single. For this song I immediately start with a chorus. Well this song is mainly about the argument that I ever face in my relationship. It also tell the story how a relationship can be destroy with doubt and uncertainty inside us. It also tell the story of hiding our real feeling from our love ones which cause confusion in their mind.

Track 6 :My breakdown

2AM I call you to spit the fire out
There no turning back you will listen to me now
Of something that seem to be holding us behind
Will you ever realize that I'm out of breath

Can you hear this heart of mine scream
Tired of all the torment it been through
This is me breaking down
Have we been wrong right from start
For you and your shadow from the past
This is me breaking down

So now you seem like half the world away
Even though you are standing right in front of me
All this distance you put between both us
Tell me is there no turning for us now

Chorus X 1

Now I can barely holding on..
Tell me am I nothing but mistake to you..
For my hand are tired and willing to let go..
Tell me is that what you want all along..

Chorus X1

Story Behind The Song : The breaking down part. Well most of us face it in our relationship. The time will come when we are tired of pretending and sacrificing for someone that doesn't seem to care for us at all. There comes the time when we need to confront and make our stand once and for all.

Track 7 : Snapshot Of My Live

I seem to be holding back in life

yet there is something seem to be calling me

I can see the footsteps you left behind

You have find your reason to leave

Chorus : And here I'm on my own, on my own..

              I can see the sun burning high above me

              Representing the same burning heart in me

              And I'm on my own, on my own..

              One step at moment in a good time

              This is the snapshot of my live

I've been following my prescribe of right and wrong

and that is not seem to be getting me nowhere
So I take my time

To look behind the wall for the first time

Chorus X1

And somehow I have survive

Being save from myself

And this is the soundtrack of the story of my life

So hear me now..

Chorus X2

Whoa X2

I've been save from myself..

Story Behind The Song : We end it on the lighter side. The letting go part. Don't let the end of a relationship get the best of yourself. Trust me, you will find someone that truly care and appreciate you. Save your heart for someone worth dying for. Learn to let go.. Let your wound heal.. Whoever you are, where ever you are.. Know that sometime in the future there is someone waiting for you. Put a smile on that gloomy face yaw~ :)