And Here I Found Myself..

What I have found? simple.. I found that I am suddenly wishing for my final exam to come as soon as possible. Why you may ask? Cause I'm freaking tired dealing with all this freaking assignments. I am tired of watching my friend and my love one being torment by the stresses of doing assignments.. Believe it or not the stresses of dealing with exam is different than assignment. Both are stressful of course, but in my opinion at least we can focus more on a certain subject when we are dealing with exam. It is different when it comes to assignment where multiple subjects require your head bursting attention. this come from my experiences of having have to complete three different assignments for three different subject in one night! With exam you only need to study one or two subjects for the test next day.There.. I said it! For the first time in my life I want to sit for my exam as soon as possible! Hey, don't give me that look, I know both of them are equally important for my future, otherwise I would just ditch my assignments without giving them my slightest attention! Huh.. this post is entirely to release my pressure I guess

 Exam

OR ASSIGNMENTS?

YOU CHOOSE..

That is it all for know, I got some bloody assignments which I need to complete as soon as possible..

Seriousness Kill..

I make her cry again.. I feel sick of myself, I'm so god dam pathetic! I can't even take on a joke! Huh.. I don't want to torment and keep on adding her already bad pressure.. I just want her to be happy with me.. I need to change, this is for real, I need to cut all this seriousness out myself, for my own benefit.. for her happiness.. for our future together..  

Time Out!

Busy giler sehari dua ni, huh.. I barely had contact with her too lately. Kalau ader contact pun mostly sebab kerja je. Hmm.. aper nak buat, dah nama pun busy, dia lagi la bertimbun kerja2 dia compare dari aku, so I had to understand that at least... Of course la aku kisah.. tapi aper gunanya aku jadi BF dia kalau aku tak boleh support dan back up dia at least dalam hal ni. Kalau bab rindu tu tak payah cakap la.. macam nak meroyan pun ader sekarang nih. Tapi cool je la, nama pun lelaki, be strong je la.. apa boleh buat.. We both got our future to be thinking of, so we just work, work, work, work and work..

But I can't deny that I still miss her despite the amount of work that I had been doing...

Self Reflection..

I'm slowly destroying myself...

and THIS is a fact!

I think I have set a brand new standard of the term workaholic

I actually faint because of exhaustion of doing all my week 10 assignment!

What make it even more dramatic I had faint when I'm doing my drama practice!

Thankfully my group-mates and SHE is there to the rescue..

This is a red flag signal from my body I guess

This is the result of nearly one week of not enough sleep

My body finally say it had enough..

But this isn't a brand new record really

From what I have heard before there is actually a TESL foundation student that have actually DIE due to over workload

Aku nak ke sampai jadi macam tu baru nak sedar!!!!

Segalanya dah terlambat dah waktu tu..

Tinggal la aku sorang-sorang dalam liang lahad yang ku minta luas dan terang bagi ku nanti...

Huh...

Aku tersebut topic mati lagi

Semua orang takut mati kan

Pada waktu tu tinggal la kita sorang-sorang berhadapan dengan sang pencipta yang maha esa..

Banyak sangat dosa-dosa aku selama ni..

Aku kerap kali tewas dengan godaan dunia..

Berkali-kali aku bertaubat..

Tapi aku ulang segala dosa-dosa tu kembali

meskipun cuma dosa-dosa kecil

kalau terus mengulangi dosa-dosa tu sama je hukumnya dengan dosa besar..

Ilmu agama aku sekadar basic dengan ader sedikit info-info tambahan..

Sedangkan tuhan lahirkan aku untuk jadi sorang hamba yang bertaqwa baginya..

kadang-kadang aku rasa tuhan sayang sangat kat semua manusia..

Bila kita buat silap dia sentiasa ada untuk kita kembali semula..

Sedang kita semua tak layak pun terima semua belas kesihan darinya

WE DON'T DESERVE HIS UNEXPECTED MERCY!!!!!

Tapi aku takut ya ALLAH ya tuhan ku!!!!

Takut sangat-sangat...

jangan kau sekali-kali tinggalkan aku ya ALLAH...

Ku tahu ku tidak layak ke syurga mu...

Akan tetapi aku tak sanggup juga ke neraka mu...

Jangan sekali-kali ku tinggal dan lupakan aku hamba mu walau sesaatpun ya ALLAH ya TUHANKU...

Ku hanya mampu berdoa pada mu seorang ya ALLAH..

Selamatkan lah diri ku di dunia dan akhirat

Selamatkan lah ibu bapa ku...
Selamatkan lah saudara-saudara lelaki ku...

Selamatkan lah saudara-saudara perempuan ku...

Selamatkan lah kekasih hati ku ( Yang ku mengharap cintaku padanya mendapat keredhaan dari mu)

Selamatkan lah rakan-rakan ku...

Selamatkanlah seluruh umat Islam ya ALLAH...

Hanya kepada mu ku mampu merayu...