Yes I am single (Part 2: The downfall )

Yes aku rasa memang aku dah macam apa dah time tu -.-" Hate to say this but love turn me into a complete suckers at that time. Aku rasa kalau dia suruh aku pergi terjun tingkat 13 semata-mata nak test betul ke tak aku sayang pun aku boleh buat COMPLETE ngan hati yang bunga-bunga lagi tuh.

Tapi sadly speaking aku rasa hanya berapa kerat je kan first love yang betul-betul berjaya dalam hidup ni. Dan unfortunately first love aku bukan masuk dalam golongan berapa kerat tu. It was all good for sometimes. Kadang-kadang aku rasa hidup aku waktu dia still ada tu macam mimpi je. 

Lama kelamaan dia mula sibuk ngan segala aktiviti society. Dok pelan event ni dan dok meeting hari-hari. Waktu tu kita orang jadi renggang jap. Aku bukanya terlibat ngan segala aktiviti society ni so peluang aku dapat jumpa dia makin lama jadi makin jarang. Tapi aku tak nak la memaksa sangat time tu. Aku sedar aku ni saper dan aku sedar tanggungjawab dia yang dia pikul sebagai pemimpin. So I try hard to be more understanding dah jarangkan contact dia skit supaya dia boleh buat kerja. Aku hanya mampu bagi support dan kata-kata semangat agar dia boleh buat kerja ngan elok time tu. Dan maybe je la aku ader nasihat skit dua tiga orang budak yang dok planning nak buat kacau kat event tu. Dan aku tau sangat ada budak tesl laki yang mengada-ngada cuba approach dia waktu kita orang renggang skit tu. Tuhan je la yang boleh tentukan apa yang salah. Aku dah tak larat dah nak cari musuh semata-mata seorang perempuan. Waktu tu jugak sebenarnya aku nak test betul ke kalau aku jarang-jarang contact dia everything still going to be alright. That we can still be like our old time. 

But my fear turn out to be true. You know.. first love is always the hardest. It is true for me.. and it is true for her too. Unfortunately I am not her first love. Aku dah pernah dengar pasal ex dia still dok text dia kadang-kadang. Sebagai sebagai seorang lelaki lelaki mana la yang senang ngan benda-benda macam tu. Even though aku dah mintak dan merayu kat dia agar stop kan terus sms tuh dia kata kat aku yang dia cuma texting benda-benda berkaitan agama dan akedemik je. So I tried to think that it's alright and that nothing is wrong. Tapi for some reason I got a funny feeling about it. So she said she would stop if it upset me so much.

You know what.. I am not that stupid, I can sense at that time that she still savor some feeling for that guy. But.. Allah also know that I am also dearly in love with her. And I would not give up without a fight. But that guy manage to do what I fail to do. To fill the emptiness in her heart when she need it the most. Sometimes I wonder if she totally forgot about all those memories that we have created together. That how she forgot that I still do madly in love with her and suffering the guilt of our mistakes. That how could she forgot our promises that we will be together to the very end.

Allah is almighty.. I don't know what his plan for us really. But slowly the distance between us grow. We fight over something that is so simple sometimes. Her friends are not really a big help at that time too. All those fights.. It is tearing my heart to pieces. Finally I can't take it anymore. I confront her once and for all. I just had to know what really happen between us. How I wish that I actually have the chances to say sorry for my mistakes at that time. But that chance never really come. She said to me that she had have enough. So finally.. on our last day at UiTM Alor Gajah.. our relationship is over..

(to be continue..) 

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Part 3

Part 1